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110 || FITNESS MAGAZINE || APRIL / MAY 2015TROY BYER By: Darcy Tharp%u201cIn order to %u2018not lose yourself%u2019 it is important to participate in activities that we personally enjoy %u2013 with or without our partner%u2019s involvement. It%u2019s also important to simply have alone time.%u201d That%u2019s the advice of the %u201cHeartbreak Recovery Specialist%u201d Troy Byer, who is talking about how to not to lose ourselves once in a relationship. She points out that merging identities happens quite often when insecurity is present, so it is imperative to stay true to what you love doing on your own. The best-selling author, actor, director, and producer has a multitude of insights into relationships and how to heal after heartbreak. Troy got her start as an actress appearing in a number of movies and TV roles, and later gained her knowledge into breakups from her own personal experiences. She has since gone on to counsel countless others and make a career out of writing, producing, and giving advice. Not only is she talented in the writing and film world, but she already has her MA in Depth Psychology and is currently studying to earn her doctorates degree. With her second book on the way and the release of her film on DVD and digital download coming out in April, Troy is constantly excelling in many areas. When asked what she enjoys the most of all her various projects, she responded, %u201cI love it all. The most important thing to me is that whatever I am doing, it must be consistent with my brand%u2019s intention and that is to %u201cempower and inspire.%u201d ell, empower and inspire she sure does. Troy can be seen as regular on the Steve Harvey show giving advice, offers her own one-on-one-guidance, and even holds heartbreak recovery counseling (HRC) sessions. She says that she%u2019d love to be doing it even more often and dreams to one day have HRC meetings be as widely available as AA meetings. %u201cI am a firm believer that no one should ever have to suffer alone. The suicide rate is so sad, and I am literally moved to tears when I think of the absolute pain one has to be in before deciding to take his or her life. If I could, I would just give the entire planet a big hug.%u201d That is exactly why Troy is loved and revered by everyone who comes into contact with her. And it is easy to understand why, as she only desires to help and motivate people to be happy. Her personal experience with divorce is partly where she gained her understanding and realized the need for others to learn how to heal their heart in order to move on and find happiness again. She divulges that, %u201cAfter my husband and I divorced, I chose to only acknowledge the great things about him. And as a result, we both experienced the pain caused by breakup, but very little suffering. My knowledge is derived from years of research and working with individuals suffering from heartbreak. Neuroscience has a lot to say about heartbreak and the literal impact heartbreak pain has on the body, specifically the brain.%u201d Thus, she wrote down her action plan for how to be free after heartbreak and turned it into an Amazon best-selling self-help book entitled, %u201cExFree: 9 Keys to Freedom After Heartbreak.%u201d The book contains practical practices for releasing, healing, and transforming lives %u2013 something that Troy is used to doing as an everyday superhero, rescuing scores of people from the throes of heartbreak woes! Asked to describe the most memorable in her career thus far, when she knew that she had changed someone%u2019s life, Troy described a divorced couple she worked with who absolutely could not be in the same room for more than five minutes without bickering. %u201cTheir anger was actually hiding their sadness. Once we dealt powerfully with their sadness, all that was left for them to say was %u2018I love you, I will always love you.%u2019 They spent the next two years re-creating their relationship as parenting partners and shared several wonderful holidays together. I was very proud of the results we were able to create. Last year, the ex-wife called to inform me that her